"We exalt Thee, O Lord..."
These were the words running through my head as I walked back to the dorm room tonight after an amazing HeartSong meeting...if you could call it a meeting. It ended with all of us in a circle in the DMC foyer singing beautiful harmonies to our Savior. "We exalt Thee, O Lord... Praise God, from whom all blessings flow... Take joy, my King, in what You hear, may it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear." And three words came into my head: I love this.
Yesterday was our first rehearsal as the Green Team. It was scheduled to go for three hours. Despite being a musician, I hate rehearsals. Practicing I don't mind most of the time, but when lots of people get together to rehearse, I hate it. Yes, I do believe it is necessary and key to sounding great, but in rehearsals I've been in there always seemed to be a lot more talking than playing. Elements key to any rehearsal that I hate include stopping at the worst places to fix something, listening to the leader fix a problem with an instrument or part that isn't me, when people get distracted, when we take a break (let's just get it done!). Granted, I hate a lot of these things because I am selfish; I don't want to sit and listen to a problem being fixed if I'm not the problem, or I just want to get this done so I can move on with my life. God is teaching me patience, for sure. But that doesn't change the fact that I hate rehearsing.
But last night, three hours felt like one. We spent a good 70 minutes on one song, but it didn't feel that way. And I can't even describe what it was that made it so short and so...awesome. We are all super talented, which surprised me, but shouldn't have because we're in HeartSong. "Clicked" isn't the right word, but we're learning how to listen to each other, to let each other's talent shine through. I don't know; now that I think about it, I can't even put into words what made it great. I loved it. I LOVED it.
I worked at Camp Carl for two years, I was a junior counselor before that for two years. I loved it. It's not that it never quite felt right, it's not that something was missing, because there wasn't. I loved my summer job, and before this past August I never would have thought of changing it. Even now I would never trade those amazing years for anything. But now that I'm in HeartSong, in a place that's "perfect for me" by the world's standards, I feel like if there was something missing before, I've found it. No, it's not God that was missing; He was filling me the whole time, and that's why I never felt empty at camp. It's a different place in my heart that's full, an unnecessary full, but a wonderful full. Music is consuming my life. But in a different way than how God consumes me; music is not fulfilling me, but it is filling me. Making music is my heart's desire, and it's a desire that God put in my heart. And I'm doing it, and I love it.
I can hear God whispering, "THIS is it. THIS is what I created you to do. THIS is My plan for your life." And tonight, when I joined with 38 other people who share that calling and that purpose, and we glorified the One who gave us this desire of our hearts...
How can I go on but to say: I love this. I LOVE this.