The Soundtrack of My Life

Lately I have been thinking a lot about music and the way it continues to shape my life.  Many different songs have been in my head over the past month, and I thought for this blog I would share some of the lyrics from these songs because I think they do a better job than I can at telling about my spiritual journey lately.  I'm including some Scripture that has spoken to me lately as well.  So here it is: the soundtrack of my life.


Track #1: ...I am full of sin, I carry my idols, I am far from you...

With lips that can't speak and ears that cannot hear, my idols lay in silence
So why do I give them obsession and give them my heart?
When in the end, there's no hope of love
'Cause on the cross, the hammer fell for all of us
It's Your blood that covers me, Your grace that carries me
Jesus, Great Physician of my soul, would you heal me?
-"Healed" by HeartSong

I waited for you today, but you didn't show
I needed you today, so where did you go?
You told me to call, said you'd be there
And though I haven't seen you, are you still there?
-"Never Alone" by BarlowGirl

Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress;
My eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief
My life is consumed by anguish, and my years by groaning;
My strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak.
-Psalm 31:9-10

Track #2:  You pursue me/I want to be Yours

Therefore I am now going to allure her
I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her
-Hosea 2:14

You gave Your life, You shed Your blood
I take for granted what is enough
Less of me, more of You, Father, less of me, more of You
I'm crying out to You, my Father!
May my life reflect Your love, which is enough
-"Less" by HeartSong

Be still, and know that I am God
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth
-Psalm 46:10

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since You laid down your life, the greatest sacrifice
Majesty, Majesty, Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty-handed but alive in Your hands
Forever I am changed by Your love in the presence of Your Majesty
-"Majesty" by HeartSong

Track #3: I will respond

How great You are, Sovereign LORD!  There is no one like You, and there is no God but You, as we have heard with our own ears.  And who is like your people Israel - the one nation on earth that God went out to redeem as a people for Himself?...You have established Your people Israel as Your very own forever, and You LORD have become their God.
-II Samuel 7:22-24

One thousand times I've said I tried my best, only to lose
But You take me as I come, and You are the Only One
Forgive me for giving myself away to anything that calls my name
There is none but You
-"None but You" by HeartSong

Track #4: Learning to trust You

Surrender, surrender, You whisper gently
You say I will be free, I know, but can't You see
My dreams are me
-"Surrender" by BarlowGirl

Prone to wander, LORD, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, LORD, take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above
-"Come Thou Fount"

I lost my trust in You again
And in my heart, I know I never let You in
My love is broken again, I know what I am, just a common man
Please pity this broken soul
-"Prodigal" by Rachel Lee

Track #5 Continuing to seek You/"You pursue me" reprise

When You call I won't refuse, each new day, again I'll choose
When You call I won't delay, this my song through all my days
There is no one else for me, none but Jesus
Crucified to set me free, now I live to bring Him praise
-"None but Jesus" by HeartSong

I know you're hurting now, you see no purpose in your life
Because everything is falling to the ground
But I have searched you, and I know you, and I came to earth to save you
And in Me, new life can be found
So don't lose hope, don't lose hope
Look to the sky, I'll be there, in the depths, I'll be there
In the sunrise, by the seaside, know My hand will guide you
In the night, I'll be there, in the light, I'll be there
Your hope never has to fade, because I am always with you
-"I Am Always With You" written by me, summer 2008

Be still, and know that I am God
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth
-Psalm 46:10

The HeartSong Blog

Unfortunately I have been so busy with school and work that I haven't had a chance to update my blog in a while!  Recently I was able to update the HeartSong blog, though, and the latest post should be up soon.  Please feel free to check out the HeartSong blog, and keep checking it throughout the year and next summer to hear stories from all five teams!

http://www.cedarville.edu/Christian-Ministries/HeartSong.aspx

Until the next free moment!

I Could Sing of Your Love Forever

It's sad to think that besides one more on-campus concert our team is done touring for the semester.  Although it will be nice to have more time to get schoolwork and practicing done without having to worry about missing a weekend, I had so much fun over fall break that I don't think I'd mind giving up more weekends to spend time with my team and praise our God together. If I could physically do it, I would love to just stay on tour forever, living in host homes out of a suitcase, getting to know families we stay with, rehearsing and playing music all day and all night long, praising God constantly, never, ever stopping.  I wonder if there will be traveling worship teams in Heaven?

Tuesday we met as a team as usual, but instead of rehearsing, we took some time to debrief from our fall break tour.  After having a couple days to reminisce and create my own opinion of the weekend, it was nice to hear everyone else's opinions as well as we just talked about stuff that happened, good and bad, that we will always remember from the trip.  Then we took turns encouraging each other, and we spent so much time doing it that I'm sure that every one of us walked out of that meeting in higher spirits.  We prayed for each other and ended our meeting early; God timed that perfectly so that I was able to make it to a test review session that ended up boosting my grade on the test the next day!  I'm pretty sure God loves blessing me in little ways to remind me that He's always in control.

Also during our Tuesday meeting, we talked about our host homes.  As we talked, I couldn't stop thinking about how much our second host home changed my life.  I went over and over in my mind the moment when one of the little 2nd graders realized the problems he had with his piano piece and finally played it all the way through with no mistakes, finishing with bright eyes and a big smile as I exclaimed, "That was perfect!  Great job!"  I got to help him discover the mistakes he was making just by asking questions (e.g. Does this next note go up or down from the last one?), and he was so proud of the way he figured out the answers himself and then was able to play it perfectly.  From that moment, I have been sure that I want to teach piano.  I never thought such a defining moment would happen to me in a host home with HeartSong, and it changed me forever.  I haven't been able to stop talking about it since!

On Wednesday, we all got an e-mail telling us to dress warm for our all-team meeting.  After we all arrived to the meeting all bundled up, we left campus and took a night walk through the woods.  It was almost pitch-black except for some light from the moon, and all I could see was the back of the person in front of me.  When we were almost at the end, we gathered together in a clearing and looked up at the stars.  After a few minutes of silence, we sang together.  I LOVE when we all sing together, praising our God for everything He's done for us!  I could have stood there singing forever, staring at the stars, creating harmonies with my HeartSong brothers and sisters, never, ever stopping.  But we stopped, and after walking a little farther got to a campfire.  We talked about the walk, and Jim gave us a spiritual application about trusting the Leader of the group; then we prayed together before making s'mores and talking around the fire.  I sat for a little bit, then ate a s'more, then just took a couple minutes to myself.  Over the past couple days before that night, I was so overwhelmed, but in good and bad ways.  First was the schoolwork that has begun to pile up again (of course).  But I was also overwhelmed with blessings that God had given me, one after the other over the course of the past week and a half, and I felt that I couldn't praise God enough for His goodness.  While I was sitting by the fire, just staring at the way it transformed the wood that it engulfed, I had a moment of peace. I wasn't overwhelmed with school.  But I wasn't overwhelmed with God's greatness, either.  I just knew that God was good, He always has been, and He always will be, and no matter what happens I can trust Him with anything in my life.  I know I will have an eternity to praise Him over and over, and even that still won't be enough.

My prayer is that I will continue to be overwhelmed by God's greatness and holiness.  I don't have to be frustrated and angry that I will never be able to praise Him enough.  I can be excited and overwhelmed with joy that He accepts my praise even when it's imperfect, and that with every blessing He pours out, I can turn back to praise Him.  I could sing of His love forever. Never, ever stopping.